Maryland STARS

After several years of coaching older age groups, mostly second year 14s through 18&under, I coached 12&under this season.

Little did I know what I was in for. I heard the warnings from other coaches, “Coaching 12U is like herding cats”, “12U players have a short attention span”, “You never know how they are going to play at 12U”, etc., etc. etc.

Guess what, these warnings are all somewhat true and all somewhat false.

12U players are just that, 11-13 year old girls just starting to learn the game. Yes, they are easily distracted. Yes, they have short, sometimes incredibly short, attention spans. And yes, the difference in their level of play from game to game varies greatly.

That all said they want to learn, they want to be challenged, they want to develop, they want to have fun and ultimately they want to please their coaches by playing well as a team and excelling at their individual skills.

Most are still at an age where they have not picked up some of the less desirable attributes of their parents or other adults.

They play for the simple fun and challenge of the game and the camaraderie of their teammates.

And what can be wrong with that?………………..Nothing!

It was not about making the high school team, being selected all conference or team captain, earning scholarships, or anything else that adults value. It was simply for fun, learning, challenge, and friendships – maybe the parents of the older players should take a look back at what softball really means and what the ultimate value it adds to their lives.

I had the pleasure and, oft times the frustrations, of watching a bunch of young very inexperienced players develop, grow, mature and mold into a very formidable team. One that on any given day could play with the best 12U teams in the area.

I got to see the smiles of joy and satisfaction. I got to see the tears of disappointment and emotional exhaustion when they gave it their all and their all was not enough. In either case it was great knowing that it meant so much to them.

I never saw them give up or quit or even consider such as an option. No matter the situation their little hearts pushed them onward. They never stopped trying just like the little engine that thought it could.

They worked hard, they did well, they learned, they got better, and they had fun. What more could I ask for? What more could any coach ask for?

Written and Submitted by Glen Warholic

On Friday, June 24th, Gettysburg College held its first annual Prospect Day. This was an opportunity for the school to look at a small group of players in light of their prospect of eventually joining the Gettysburg team. Representing the STARS were three players, Stacie Maring of the 18s, Veronica Rittie of the 16s, and Sara Diggers of the 14s. These three girls did the STARS organization proud. They were pleasant, hard-working and executed the various skills with aplomb! The day began with warm-ups with Stacie and Ronnie leading the girls out on the warm-up run. The day progressed with three groups consisting of 10 to 12 girls with three main skill sets, infield, hitting and outfield.

The coaches worked the girls hard giving them ample opportunity to learn as well as to demonstrate their skills. Lunch was on their own followed by a tour of the campus, then came the afternoon session, a two hour scrimmage with an opportunity to show the Gettysburg coaches how they played the game and that’s where our girls really shined.

Sara was one of the few catchers at the camp and ended up catching the entire scrimmage for her team. She was very aggressive on her throws to first and kept many a runner honest resulting in steals only on pitches in the dirt and even on several of those she made it close!

Stacie played centerfield for several innings and after we watched so many catchable balls fall-in, Stacie twice showed everyone how a STARS player goes after balls! The first was on a ball hit over her head towards right center, she drop-stepped and took off making a great stretched out running catch. The second was on a ball hit to shallow center where she sprinted in and made a diving catch for the out, robbing her second batter of the day. She was far and away the best outfielder there that day.

Lastly, Veronica showed her stuff in the infield, playing all but two innings and showing her skills at third, second and short. She fielded all her chances including several extraordinary plays. While at second, she ranged to her left and out behind first to snag a line drive robbing what everyone thought was a shot into right field and possible extra bases. She next ranged to her right diving to stop a ball as it tried to pass second base into center, keeping possession and making the force out in a cloud of dust, again to the surprise of many thinking there was another hit. Her last chance at shortstop she took a shot deep in the hole and threw the runner out by several steps!

In addition to their fielding prowess, our girls hit the ball hard earning several base hits along with showing their very fine base running skills.

By the end of the day, our girls had done their STARS teams proud. They demonstrated how hard they’ve worked to learn to play the game the right way. They worked hard, smiled a lot and then executed well when playing.

Great job ladies and keep up the hard work!

Written & submitted by Kevin Rittie

I was 19 years old the first time I realized what it meant to be a good coach. In my mind, all you needed was a ton of knowledge and free time to spare. I didn’t think about how the money showed up for tournaments or how much they cost or why location of tournaments mattered or about playing time for the weaker players. I never considered how much time was required of a coach outside of practice and games. I just didn’t know. Ignorance is bliss.

Fast forward to almost a decade later and I can tell you that my opinion is drastically changed. As it turns out, it wasn’t quite as simple as I’d thought. It required so much work beyond making lineups and teaching skills. There were managerial tasks like scheduling tournaments, filling out rosters, creating practice plans, collecting money, etc. There were interpersonal skills required like managing conflict, listening, giving feedback (often negative), etc. There were hidden tasks too like making decisions about moral issues (penalize a player or penalize a team for a player’s mistake), understanding basic injury care and prevention, altering my language and my coaches’ language to make them coincide, etc. I never imagined the amount of time coaches put in which also meant I’d never appreciated it until then. I don’t think most people who haven’t volunteered at that level understand the commitment. Even looking back at the short list of things I noted, I can think of ten more without trying.

Like most organizations, the STARS program is volunteer driven. No one is compensated for their time, at least not financially. Many of the volunteers no longer have children playing. Many of the families have been around for ages and have been volunteering for as long as I have been involved as a coach. I can only hope that the players look around and see what all of these people are doing for them to give them the opportunity to play.

As a coach, I firmly believe it is my job to teach the players life skills as I think can be seen in earlier blogs. However, I also think it’s important to teach them about giving back. I believe many of these girls will grow up and become the architects, veterinarians, and journalists they hope to be. They will be successful in financial terms because of the life skills they’ve learned through sports and from their parents. However, successful does not mean significant. Success measures only individual gain while significance measures their contributions to and impact on others. I hope they will understand this difference and aim to be significant. I hope they will give back and volunteer willingly the way many of their parents do. I hope they will one day realize all the work that goes into their team and organization and they will be proud and thankful, and in turn, they will pass that onto another group of kids.

Now, to present day, this weekend, the STARS hosted our first of two tournaments we host each year. The 12U, 14U and 16U teams played while their families worked the concessions or field maintenance. In the background, other people designed, printed, and sold t-shirts, developed the schedule, recruited teams to play, chose and ordered trophies, etc. What most people don’t know is how much work has to happen BEFORE the tournament is played. Game day is usually the easiest day. And this is just one tournament. This doesn’t include all the coaching hours, all the organization work, the website, the blog, the general field maintenance, the financial parts, etc. These volunteers play such a huge role in the lives of these girls and yet, we never have enough.

It is for this reason, I believe it’s my job to help encourage the girls to give back. To give other girls the opportunity to have all that they’ve been given. And a few weeks ago, my team had their chance. After several rain outs, my team had their first mentoring practice as mentors. First, let me explain. The STARS have started mentoring teams from the Winfield Sting, so my 14U team mentored the 10U Sting team. The girls were in charge of creating the practice plan, and executing the entire practice themselves. They spent some time after a practice during the winter planning the practice together, and after I reviewed the plan with minimal revisions, the girls anxiously awaited the practice.

After three attempts and three rained out practices, the girls were pretty disappointed, but finally, we managed to get it in. The girls were nervous at first. They were unsure of themselves and the younger girls could sense it. However, it didn’t take long before they eased into coaching and the younger girls just stared at them in admiration, soaking in every last word they had to say. I have tried to explain to my girls before that they are role models to younger girls, but I’m not sure they ever realized it until that night. They taught. They offered encouragement and praise. They remained optimistic even when a girl was struggling. They used the language of my coaching staff. They laughed and had a great time. I sat in the dugout in awe for a long time. I have been proud of them so many times, but seeing this, it does not get much better.

At the end of practice, I called them into a huddle and we all stood and talked. The first question was, “Can we do that again sometime soon?” I laughed and offered to try to schedule something soon. They grinned and talked excitedly about how much fun it was, recounting details of the practice for me since I had not been directly involved. Then I informed them that they didn’t have to run that evening like we do at the end of every practice. They cheered and decided to run anyway so I did what I always do and split them up so they could race. I stood in the middle of the field while they played cat-and-mouse (one group starts at 2nd and one at home and it’s a relay race around the bases). Two girls from the younger team we mentored stood in the dugout while their parents called for them to leave. They brushed off their parents and stared out while my girls ran the bases, and it only took one quick glance to realize the impact my girls had on them.

My girls probably didn’t see that look. They probably don’t realize much about the practice except that it was fun and different from the usual. However, it was a start. It was the first step in helping them get involved in something they care about. It is the groundwork for my girls to go on and change others’ lives. Maybe not in softball, maybe not girls, maybe not kids. That’s not what matters. I want them to be significant and successful. The successful part I believe is already in the process of happening and has been for years as they’ve learned hard work, dedication, perseverance, drive, etc. However, successful does not mean significant. Many “successful” people are not particularly significant. Success is rarely equated with time spent volunteering. Success typically measures only individual gain while significance measures their contributions to and impact on others. I hope they will understand this difference and aim to be significant as well.

Sports, softball in particular, teaches the girls so much. I know that so many of the important lessons I’ve learned have been taught in relationship to softball. The value of hard work, the importance of passion, taking ownership of my successes and failures, learning to let the little things go, how to recover from a mistake, etc. They weren’t easy to learn, but I am certain that’s what makes them so hard to forget.

Coaching has been much the same. I am perpetually in awe of how much I’ve learned as a coach (considering how much I thought I knew!). The girls have taught me things about courage (how to ask for help; how to take risks to be great), resiliency (how to come back), and selflessness (how to give all of yourself) that I would not have learned elsewhere. As coaches, we spend so much time thinking about how to help them that I think we forget how much they help us.

Courage: Asking for help - I didn’t think much of it when it happened, but a week later it happened again. Then again. All the girls were doing it and it occurred to me that the team was doing it. They were asking for help with their weaknesses. They asked about why the drill wasn’t going well for them and how they could improve. They wanted to be evaluated because they knew it just meant they had something to work on. True perfectionists avoid criticism and “weaknesses” because it’s painful to admit, but my team wasn’t doing that. Sure, they all still prefer playing to their strengths, but they aren’t afraid to work on what’s hard for them. And that is something we could all do better.

Courage: Taking risks - I once told a catcher that I wanted her to be more decisive. This is a difficult skill to develop as it includes many other skills including game sense, math skills, awareness of her team’s and the other team’s abilities, and quick reaction time. I knew what I was asking her was difficult and so I told her I would be happy with decisive even if it was wrong. She could’ve ignored the challenge or written it off as too difficult. Instead, she did exactly what I asked. She was decisive, often incorrect, but decisive. Being wrong when you’re in charge can be embarrassing and painful among other things. It is a huge risk, but she did it day in and day out. Every day, she got better. She right much more often now and it is easy to see her move from good to great in those moments. With great opportunity comes great risk and she reminds me all the time of this.

Resiliency: Coming back – There are hundred stories of how my girls fight back, be it from injuries, after getting down in a game, falling behind in a count, whatever. But my favorite story is about the whole team. Last year, the girls struggled at the beginning of year. We had a lot of fun, but there was one team we just couldn’t beat. Every time we played them, the rivalry grew deeper (as did the respect on both sides – I think). The girls loved to play against them which was good because we did so frequently. At first, the games weren’t as competitive as I would’ve liked them to be. They clearly beat us. By mid-season, every game was within a run or two, but we just couldn’t break through. Instead of giving into the challenge, we fought back. It started with tie. Both teams played well and we’d tied. In the next game, at our home field, we beat them. We certainly hadn’t started on the top, but we’d pushed and worked and found our way there. It’s not about where you start or how you’ve done. It’s about what you do after that to get where you want to be.

Selflessness: Giving all of yourself – I would not say I’m a selfish person, but I also wouldn’t consider myself selfless. Like most people, I fall somewhere in the middle and lean to either side depending on the situation. Until I started head coaching, I had a ton of free time which I filled with friends, leisure reading, napping, some of the great things in life. Then I became a head coach (though I still occasionally long for those much easier days as an assistant coach) and I more than willingly offered that time. I did this for many reasons. First, I have a wonderful role model (and father) who has done the same (x1000) for years. He has been a head coach since I played (which was more years ago than I’ll admit to) and run the STARS organization since 1997. Second, softball, particularly the STARS, gave me so much of what I wanted and needed throughout my life that I wanted to give back. I benefited from the structure of organized sports, the hard work required, the relationships with my teammates, their families, and my coaches, and my genuine love of the game. I also benefited years after I stopped playing from the very extended family I’d developed among the players (and families) who were in the program for so many years it felt like I’d known them my whole life. And finally, I became a head coach because of the girls. After my experience as an assistant coach, I knew I wanted to be more involved in these girls’ lives. The way they cared about each other and hated to let their teammates (and coaches) down, the way they gave so much of their time and energy to a game, the way their families became a community that raised children with strong ethics and genuineness, the way they sacrificed for each other… It touched me as I think it would do for anyone who stepped back and looked at it. The selflessness of the girls, of my former coaches, of my father continues to make me capable of giving everything I have in so many parts of my life.

These lessons have forever changed me. They influence every aspect of my life. They have made me a better person and a better coach. I know how much the girls learn from my coaching staff and I recognize the subtle ways it affects their lives. More often then not, we, as coaches, don’t spend as much time thinking of what we have learned from them. When you think about your team or your coaches, think about what you would want them to learn from you. Think about the influence you have on them as well as the one they have you. There is so much to be learned from each other. Take the opportunity.

The grass is turning green (and needs to be cut) and about 50% of our practices must be inside, so I know it’s truly spring.  With spring comes our first tournament and all the excitement and nervousness that comes with it.  The teams have worked all winter in an attempt to prepare for a game that includes so much failure.

In some ways, it’s ironic how much we prepare and how often we fail.  I know the girls don’t think it’s ironic, they think it’s perpetually frustrating.  Most of these girls are true perfectionists.  They usually get very good grades.  They rewrite their notes from school because they weren’t neat enough.  They excel at more than one sport if they choose to play others.  Then they come out to softball practice and they miss a few groundballs or have a bad throw here or there.  They don’t hit every pitch well. We watch them get frustrated with themselves and sink into the deep holes mentally that they can’t get out of and won’t let other people help them out.  And that’s just practice.  Games are 100x more intense for them.  They feel every error, every missed opportunity, and it hurts.

I think I can write about this so easily because I’ve been there.  I’ve been the kind of player who makes a mistake and dwells on it for longer than I needed (which is always just long enough to make another mistake because I’m focused on the previous one).  After becoming a coach, I realized that part of the reason this occurs is because the girls define success as perfection.  They compare themselves to the best player on their team, or the best player they know and they come up short.  They ruminate about their own mistakes because they’re signs that they aren’t perfect.

As a coach, I believe one of my biggest jobs is to redefine success.  Perfection, as we all know, is impossible.  Even in a perfect game, most pitchers still miss spots.  Success cannot be defined as an outcome, but rather as a moment-by-moment attempt at excellence and consistent improvement.  It is tempting as a coach to reward the outcome regardless of the process.  For example, when a player throws poorly, but the ball gets to the player.  Yes, that’s better than the alternative of the ball not getting to the player, but it’s not success.  To reward that as success is to undermine that individual player’s development.  As a coach, I prefer the player with a throwing problem who is improving, but throwing the ball all over the place because her release point is off now that we’ve changed her throw. I know that she will be better off in the long term and that in a relatively short time, she’ll be throwing the ball correctly almost all the time (and hitting her target).

It is a constant battle to get this thought into the minds of the girls (and their parents).  I try to talk about my own mistakes and take responsibility for them to model the fact that mistakes happen and we push through.  I encourage and praise their improvement, and I attempt to fix their mistakes, even when they worked out during that at bat or play.  Do I cheer when a player makes a routine play look hard, but we still get the out?  Yes!  We want every out (pretty or ugly).  As soon as we’re out of the inning though, a member of my coaching staff is with the girl explaining how it could have been better and how she can improve the next time.  I also cheer just as loud and get as excited when a girl improves, but it doesn’t work out for the best. It’s all about the improvement and when you focus on improvement, it’s individually specific. The girls learn to focus on their skills and not spend so much time comparing themselves to other players who they believe are better than them. And with these young girls who are just figuring out who they are and who they could be, this lesson could not be more important.

After playing and coaching, it is my belief that perfectionism will hurt them in the long run.  Life is full of mistakes and dwelling on a mistake leads to missed opportunities.  Sports, because of the failure inherent in them, can be a way to teach kids how to respond after a mistake is made.  It can teach them to be proactive when faced with adversity. However, it’s not easy. Helping these girls understand that they will never be perfect is an uphill battle.  Redefining success as improvement (made through hard work and focused effort) is radical to some of them who look at the end result and determine their own worth.  However, if you focus on improvement and not the outcome, you get kids who aren’t as nervous to play, but excited.  You create players who want the ball because they aren’t afraid of making mistakes or “failing”.  Think of all you could do if you weren’t afraid to fail.

Often, after a player coming from another program (rec program, slow pitch, Class C level or other select program) makes a STARS team, the player and their family will tell us about the myths they’d believed about the STARS up until that point.  Whether they’d heard it from someone else or just conjured it in their own mind, they’ve come up with some interesting myths.

One of the most prominent myths is that the player must dedicate their lives to softball.  This is absolutely not true!  Many STARS players play multiple sports from the youngest team through the 18U team.  Many of the girls in high school play for the STARS, their high school softball team, and another sport.  We recognize that dedication to softball makes great players, but we also recognize that girls who play multiple sports are more athletic and less prone to injury.  During the fall, the schedule only includes one practice a week (on the weekends) and play 2-3 tournaments.  After the fall season ends, the girls take November through the beginning of January off (we recognize the value of this rest period!).   In the winter, the girls attend one (sometimes two) practices a week on the weekend and have the option of attending open gyms to work on their skills.  They are not required to attend, but speaking for the 14U team, many of my girls enjoy the open gyms – the individualized attention and focus on whatever skill they want to work on.  As winter ends and spring begins, the girls turn it up with 2 practices a week and tournaments on the weekends.  Contrary to popular belief, most teams play approximately 12 tournaments (about 3 weekends per month).   The STARS program allows for kids to be kids and highly skilled softball players.

Another myth we hear frequently is that it is extremely expensive to play.  We heard it costs thousands of dollars.  Well, that’s just completely false.  Between the registration fees and uniforms (which went down in price this year!), the approximate cost is about $600.  Now, this doesn’t include travel which can be a bit pricey, but the STARS do everything they can to keep costs down.  We wear the same uniforms for years so the major uniform costs only occur for the first year or so.  We pass down some of our uniforms.  As the STARS is a true organization, many players have gotten hand-me-down pants from players on older teams who have grown out of theirs.  We also do many fundraisers to keep costs down and we find sponsors to help cover the costs.  With tournament registration fees at or more than $500/tournament, indoor time expenses, equipment needed, etc., it’s amazing how low we can keep the cost (consider that most teams play 12 tournaments in the summer and 2-3 in the fall!).  Note that no one associated with the Maryland Stars is paid — we all are volunteers.  Additionally, it’s notable that there has never been a girl chosen for a STARS team that was turned away because she and her parents didn’t have the money (we find a way for her to play).

We’ve also heard that the STARS teams travel so much.  For the 10U, 12U, and 14U age groups, most teams will have 1-2 overnight tournaments (requiring hotel stays).  One of these is typically a national tournament.  The younger (10U-14U) teams mostly play locally.  For example, this year, the 12U STARS team will play an ASA Eastern national tournament which will require much less time and financial commitment from the parents.   The older teams, 16U and 18U, will travel more, but this is important at this age for the girls who want to play softball in college and need exposure to the college coaches for recruiting purposes.

One myth I always find surprising is that at the 10U age group, the pitchers spend most of their time walking the batters and it’s no fun for anyone.  This just isn’t true.  It may have been true once in the area, before fastpitch bloomed here.  But now, the 10U pitchers can throw strikes and the game is interesting and exciting for the girls, fans, and coaches.  In fact, 10U pitchers get better every year I see them with the girls beginning to pitch younger and younger.

The playing time myth is also getting dispelled here.  Our belief in the STARS program is that if a kid is good enough to make the team, they are good enough to play in the games.  Playing time is based on ability, but also on commitment to improvement, attendance at team functions (practices, fundraisers, etc.) and attitude.  No girl who plays on a STARS team sits on the bench even 50% of the time and all players sit out at times as they can learn a lot by watching.

Playing time goes hand-in-hand with another myth of the STARS:  We are a win-at-all-costs program.  Of all of the myths, this is the one I disagree with most.  Success in the STARS program is not based on your record.  Success is based on the development of the players and their improvement.  I constantly tell my team (ad nauseam even) that I don’t expect perfection.  I want to see improvement every week.  I want to see them “moving in the direction” of excellence, not perfection.  If we won every game all season, I would know that I had not challenged my team enough.  It’s not about winning and losing, it’s about developing and challenging ourselves.  It’s about fun.  When I reminisce about playing my playing days, I don’t think about winning or losing, I think about the memories I made out there.  I miss how it felt.  Ask any STARS player who played and eventually aged out, and they’ll say the same thing.  The STARS program stresses individual and team development and also fun.  Because softball is game and if it’s not fun, what’s the point in doing it?

I’ve also heard that the STARS only get their players from other A-level fastpitch teams.  This is impossible!  There are just not enough players that are already at the A-level to do that.  The STARS find players from all over  – slow pitch leagues, instructional fastpitch, even baseball.  In the younger age groups (10U-14U), it’s common to have a player from one of those other leagues/levels of play/or other sports.  STARS coaches look for things that go beyond experience – potential, attitude, fit for the team, etc.  Just because a girl doesn’t have the experience playing on a high level fastpitch team, doesn’t mean we aren’t interested in her.  We recognize that there’s much more to a player than her experience (because everyone was inexperienced at some point!).

And finally, the myth that never ceases to surprise me: Softball comes before education.  I’m not sure why anyone would ever think we or any program might believe that.  We understand the reality for most softball players is that they won’t make a career out of softball.  It’s almost impossible to live on the salary paid to professional players and only a few players get endorsements.  Most players can only hope to play softball while they’re in college and enjoy it while it lasts.  The point is that education is more important because it affects the girl’s future for the rest of her life.  Furthermore, the regulating bodies of college athletics require the players to maintain a certain GPA or the player will be ineligible.  The STARS coaches frequently check report cards to ensure the players are maintaining high GPAs.  I know as the 14U coach, it is so important to me that my team continues to thrive academically and athletically, but if I had to choose, academics will win every time.

I doubt I’ll ever know where these myths come from, but I do know that they aren’t true.  Consider these myths BUSTED.